Current mood:	groggy
Current music:	where is the love?

bah another monday
i always figured i was not one of those girls who planned out their wedding when they were like 10 but today i woke up in a mood to look at wedding dresses and pick one out that i wanted. well its a bitch because everywhere i looked are like small little icons that you have to click on to see larger and thats a lot of work for me :)
i'll just go pick up a magazine. i think i decided i want a dress with short sleeves. i saw one dress that i liked but the rest with short sleeves looked hideous so don't think i plan on looking hideous!! if i can't find one that i lOve then i guess either the halter top style or the sleeveless, those seem to be the most popular. and i know i can get any color under the sun but i really want to stick with white. for me it seems like any other color makes it look like its not a wedding dress.

anyway my stepdad woke me up this morning being a jackass and now i know why. he called the house a million times and when i finally got up to pick up the phone he said "good i thought i'd wake you up, i think i left the water running in the kitchen". YEAH, RIGHT. fucking asshole. anyway so i'm like either hes getting really old and just fucking crazy or he wanted to wake me up. well i march upstairs (from the basement) and see this nasty note on the kitchen - he loves to leave me little notes that make me want to hang myself. it says something like you can't sleep in the basement anymore, clean up your pen, do the dishes, do something productive blah blah blah go kill yourself i hate you .
UM number one, i slept in the basement because i made some food and i didn't want to take it into my room. i guess there are no other numbers, but WHY THE FUCK does it matter where i sleep in the fucking house? my room is sleepable in, thats what i've been doing every other night, so what the fuck?

damnit thinking about this is giving me a headache. i just want him to go away. like he would be my number one reason for wanting to move out SOOOOOOOOO bad. i love my mom, we get along so great. my brother is okay but its like tom is just so fucking ridiculous. i don't know how my mom deals with him sometimes. he wakes up in the worst moods and he is just out to piss everyone off.

anyway i have to call that place today, which i really don't want to do because i'm afraid she will tell me i don't have the job. which really is crazy because i could have sworn i had it. i mean, chris even pointed out that because i'm a patient there and they will be seeing me again, they should've had that courtesy to call me back and say "we decided to give the job to someone else" or something like that.

here, i'm going to call right now and report back as to what happened, this way i feel like i have some kind of support..
ok nevermind? it rang twice and said i had reached the billing department and to leave a message. why the fuckkkkk? ahh i don't even want to call. as it was ringing i remembered i didn't plan out what i was going to say so i started freaking out. i mean what can you say?? alright well i have to take a shower .. bye